Monday, March 4, 2013

Ponderings #38


Dear fellow travelers,
I received many "decluttering" return emails, from forced decluttering from floods and the hardship of losing many precious items, and to decluttering from downsizing and going thru 30 years of history, and discovering many forgotten treasures. And To you who thought "it was a good idea".
Their are so many facets of living and life, and I thank you for sharing yours, from your perspective and I'm sorry for any hardships, if you have endured any.
For me, I admit, for a week or so, until a few days ago, I was all over the emotional scale.
A week ago, we came back from a cruise that left from Baltimore-- destination, the Caribbean!.. This was great, you could be saying-what's your problem?? I agree, what was it??
Another decluttering area.... my mind
I have been "decluttering" my mind, to get to my belief, hence problem.
The trip was great, the beautiful turquoise water, warm tropical temperatures, spectacular scenery. And then the night we were returning, we could see snow falling by the windows by our dinner room table.
I went from jubilant!, to thinking of the cold, dreading dull days, dark mornings and early evenings. I know you could be saying, get a grip, winter is not that bad here in De. and spring is coming, and yes, you may even be a snow bird and just love the cold.
But for me, I wasn't there. I felt like I was in an alternate reality, 2" of snow on the cruise ship lounge chairs. Now Really! 24 hours ago...................
Re entry was not smooth. Then, when one is in a mental state of turmoil and malaise, like I was, nothing goes easily. What you resists persists!!
There were all kind of little cliches. Nothing major.
But then I didn't need major.
I had many self inducted commitments immediately after my return, in numerous directions.
I admit it,----- I was depressed, which doesn't happen often to me.
then I got really angry at a situation. A step up!! Not a real high, but a little better.
Poor me, victim!!!!!
Then I had a talk with me. (and some support from you) What is my belief here, behind my issue, problem?? Really, what is it. my life, I know is great!!
From my couch ,self diagnosis-I ascertained; that I did just finished a major project with great results, that had been months in the studying and doing, I had been excited, enthusiastic and I had felt empowered. Then the holidays, and the vacation.
AHHH YES, that is it!! Now what????? The Unknown, the void!!! What is next?? The waiting for manifestation! I wanted to dig up my seeds of my future journey and see if they have started to sprout! ! the next horizon!
My more rational self was saying-- Patience--Relax, all is well!! all is unfolding as it should! I am on track, after some introspection, but it wasn't fun!!
I am stopping here about me! and telling you what inspires me about you..
I am so inspirited by you, you who write so spontaneously, with in depth insight, the flow, the stream of consciousness, the beauty, do you give yourself credit?
And you, the artist, your work is you, allowing your deeper self to speak outward in form, do you give yourself credit?
I am so up lifted and inspirited by you, whom I call and visit when you are in the hospital, when in health challenges---: you give me so much inspiration with your positive, upbeat, attitude and spiritual knowing, that I can only say thank you, for all I learn from you.
I am following one artist friend who is going thru a health challenge with her husband and she is publishing his writings, they are so sensitive, introspective, beautiful, and spiritual. I can only say thank you to him and her journal.
I truly learn so much from you. Love you. I care deeply for your courage.
My mind is now thankfully "decluttered." I have focus. I am here to learn, and to be grateful for what I learn from you, please don't stop teaching, me.
Life is a journey, for me to acknowledge publicly, my not so great moments, is a big step for me.
I'm just thankful there are not that many of them, and that I can tell you, and feel I am still OK.-- here on my human journey.
Just Pondering on mind decluttering and acceptance.
Linda Patton, ENTC

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